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| 23. Happy Birthday Meriadoc |
[August 19] |
Happy birthday to my flat-mate, Doc. I wish you bubbles and peace, my friend.
And cereal without marshmallows.
Warded to Ed Williamson & Boyd MacFusty:
Pub night this weekend?
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| 22. Bad Father. |
[June 14] |
Warded Private:
I'm trying not to get into this argument about parenting. I'm just as guilty of letting Bran and Beth run over me when they're here, but I just feel like it's different for me. I don't get to see them often, and I don't want to spend the whole time disciplining them or making them think they're not welcome here. Or that I don't love them
I mean, sure, they don't wake me up to get me to make something for them, but if they did... I'd be up before they got the question or demand out of their mouths.
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| 21. You must be an artist if... |
[June 02] |
Saw this in the latest issue of Art Monthly. Thought a few of my mates would completely understand.
You must be an artist if...
- The fragrance you wear is eau d'linseed oil.
- The only piece of new furniture you have in your home is a $2000 easel.
- You butter your toast with your fingers, just to feel its texture.
- You know what shade of green the lichen on the trees is.
- You can't find a nice outfit for your date because everything has paint smears on.
- Your date ends up with paint smears on her/him.
- You're late for the date because you suddenly knew exactly what that detail of your latest painting needed and just had to fix it while it was fresh in your mind.
- You chose to buy that new Russian Sable Number Six Round instead of a Big Mac, a Large Fry, a Milkshake, Desert, and toothpaste.
- You purchase a ton of books, and most are blank inside.
- When viewing a sunset, you think in terms of cadmium yellow (light hue), salmon and gold, a tinted teal mixed with gold for the water...."
- Strangers save your 'regular' spot at the park, perfect for observing children and pigeons.
- There are Prussian blue fingerprints on your phone.
- You stay awake late at night wondering how to render on canvas the dimly lit shapes and the shadows in your room.
- When you go out, you are always stopping and gazing at the world around you.
- You know more than 28 colours.
- You clean your brushes in your coffee.
- You carry pencils instead of pens.
- You have watercolour swatches on cardboard in your pocket.
- You explain your deplorably bad housekeeping by saying, "it's a work-in-progress..."
- You do judge a book by its cover.
- You bought paint instead of food!
- You paint more than you talk.
- You like to get plastered and paint the town red.
- You know that art does not match your sofa.
- If dust bunnies are part of your mixed media.
- You buy expensive brushes, and have nothing to do your hair with.
- When going on a quick errand in your painting cloths you're finding people rave over the 'fashion statement' you didn't even realize you were making.
- You know the difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
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| 20. Redemption Song. |
[May 17] |
Love it when I've a song stuck in my head. Love it even more when I'm painting. Yes, yes. Boyd and Ed, feel free to glo Might just name this one after the man, himself.
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| 19. Dirty Limerick Artist Strikes Again - Warded to those over 18 |
[April 19] |
Interesting. This is becoming quite a habit of this artist. Too bad he just has funny limericks, and no artistic talent. He used stencils this time. Probably so no one could recognise his handy work. I'm having fun speculating on who it could be. If Doc had a sense of humour, I might make a joke about him being the culprite here. Alas.
( Young lady of Peru )
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| 18. Shag, Marry, Throw Off a Cliff |
[April 06] |
I'm bored, and you know what happens when Turpins are bored. We want to play games. Lisa likes her Only Truth. Seamus, honorary Turpin in some weird backwards way, likes his Who Would You Do?
And me?
Shag, marry, or throw off a cliff?
Here's how it's gonna work. I'm going to start with three. You answer, then you give me three, and so on and so on.
So. Prime Ministers: Gordon Brown, Tony Blair, or Margaret Thatcher?
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| 17. Fantasies should never be final. |
[April 03] |
I get to pick up my kids in a few hours. Sort of feels like I haven't seen or talked to them in ages. Bethany got to pick the place for dinner last time, so it's Brandon's turn. Gonna take them out for pizza and the arcade. He keeps bugging me to get a wee -- which is apparently neither a small child nor a toilet break -- for the flat. He wants me to get one with a fake guitar so he can play Guitar Hero, but then he wants some Final Fantasy thing? That one sounds like porn Then Bethany piped up with Animal Crossing and Mario Cart? As attuned with the Muggle world as I can be, I have no idea what any of those are about. Anyone have any suggestions? Is this something I should really look into?
Oh, and Fergus? Happy birthday, mate. Have a few drinks for me.
Warded to Penelope Clearwater:
Do you have plans tomorrow night? It's my best mate Boyd MacFusty's birthday, and we're having dinner and drinks at Ed Williamson's house. Are you interested?
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| 15. Warded to RLA F/S & A |
[March 18] |
As an artist, I obviously crave attention and approval. Thanks for enabling me, Lisa!
Three things you associate with me.
Aaaaaaaand GO.
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| 14. Wards Galore. |
[March 16] |
Warded to Boyd & Addie MacFusty:
Er. I'm sure you're both wondering where Alastair is and probably panicking. He showed up at the centre, asking if he could come over. I had no idea until about 5 minutes ago that you two had no idea where he was. He was upset about I do not want to know what's going on with you two -- it's not really my business, even if I think it is -- but I think that Alastair should stay at my place tonight. It's not a problem with me, and you know I'll make sure he stays out of trouble.
Boyd, I know your temper, and I really don't think it's a good idea to come over here. Not until things have cooled down. Alastair is really upset about whatever it is that's going on over there, and I think it's best if you three have a bit of space. Maybe it'll be good for you two to talk about whatever is going on.
Warded to Ed Williamson:
Fuck, mate. I don't know what the hell is going on with Boyd (and Addie), but Alastair "ran away" to my house today. He's really upset, and I'm currently trying to convince Boyd not to come running over here and making it worse.
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Mr Pain-in-Your-Arse (that would be me) will grovel till the end of time.
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